we've covered a lot of celebrity news lately.
yes, yes i know...the people wanna see every little detail of the last chapter of the lurid book that contained michael jackson's story. don't lie, you've been watching.
it's the dream "i gotta see that" story.
the mystery death.
the drugs.
the sex (alleged sex, ahem).
the family feud.
the creepy shots of a procession rolling down the highway in a bzarro version of the oj simpson slo-mo getaway. and inside one of the vehicles, a coffin that may contain a body or cinderblocks!
ok yes, the spellbinding talent and showmanship. there was that for sure.
but it's been nearly two weeks. enough already. there are wars going on. real people dying.
for mj's tragic upbringing early, the isolation when he got famous, then jealous scavenging later by his own family, up to and including his apparently self-destructive death (i'm looking at you joe jackson, plugging your label) i actually felt terrible for him. it's the classic rags-riches-rags story of fame. it's a good ole rock and roll flameout.
but it's becoming an ugly, self-perpetuating mess, and i blame the family. i find almost all of them mildly off-putting to outright despicable, and now that the story's basically dead, we're giving this strange brood exactly what they want. fame.
it would drive me completely stark-raving mad if it weren't for completely ridiculous things like this -- proving that yes, we are going to hell in a handbasket. but it's still absurdly amusing.
warning: the following rap tribute contains language you may find offensive. it contains a low talent threshold, which you may also find offensive. it contains a pro basketball player rapping. badly.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
chapter 55: my canada
i have a confession to make: i hate crowds. i usually avoid big events, because i generally don't like to be stuck in huge throngs of people. there's something about losing my personal space that rubs me wrong.
i've always been a bit of a loner...and i guess that's part of what i love about canada; the country is so big, there's usually more than enough space for everyone, even in big cities. you can always find a tranquil spot with a stunning view and just sit and think quietly and reflect on the nearly never-ending beauty in front of you.
it's crowded in the west end today. people everywhere. restaurants, bars, shops, beaches, sidewalks, buses...everything is packed.
but today i don't mind.
i look around and see the whole world. i hear different languages, see different skin colours, smell different aromas. everyone is here, and nobody looks out of place. if i didn't know better, i wouldn't really be sure who belongs and who doesn't. but, like sherlock holmes and the dog that wasn't barking, that's the giveaway.
everyone i see has as much right to be here as the next person. nobody's trying to make the chattering koreans speak english. nobody's getting mad at the slow walking indian family. nobody's telling the muslims to take off their traditional coverings. nobody's telling the panhandlers to get off the sidewalk. nobody's telling the obnoxious white teenage suburbanites to go back to surrey, even though some are no doubt thinking it.
look, i've been some places, and i've seen some things, and that kind of freedom just doesn't exist anywhere else. is it perfect? no. but it's as close as it gets on this earth.
that's my country, or should i say our country. because we all own it...miraculously, in what's often a hard, selfish, hateful world, we've learned how to share.
happy birthday canada.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
chapter 54: my africa
congratulations to the black star nation of africa, and the continent's shining star of democracy. hey, it's a start!
Ghana's Example
How one African nation has made democracy work
Friday, January 9, 2009; Page A16
AFRICAN POLITICS were shaped in the past year by two disastrous presidential elections -- that of Kenya in December 2007, which ended in a fraud-marred impasse and triggered ethnic violence in which more than 1,000 people died; and Robert Mugabe's first-round defeat and second-round theft of a Zimbabwean poll, which has prompted a catastrophic national collapse. But democracy in Africa is not dead, as the small but influential nation of Ghana demonstrated over the past month. Its two-round election for president ended with a razor-thin margin of victory for the opposition candidate. There was no major fraud or violence: The winning candidate, John Atta Mills, promised to "be president for all"; his opponent, Nana Akufo-Addo, accepted defeat and publicly congratulated his opponent.
On being sworn in Wednesday, Mr. Atta Mills became the second opposition candidate to peacefully succeed an elected president since Ghana returned to democracy in 1992. A pioneer of Africa's independence movement in the 1960s, Ghana is the first country in sub-Saharan Africa to accomplish that political feat. For the rest of the continent -- including its giant and perpetually unstable neighbor, Nigeria -- Ghana offers a demonstration that such political maturity pays off. Ghana's average annual growth rate of 5.6 percent during the past six years has been one of Africa's highest, and the country has become a favorite of foreign investors as well as donors.
Mr. Atta Mills faces serious challenges, including growing transshipment of cocaine through Ghana to Europe -- and the corruption that the drug trafficking has engendered. He will also need to skillfully manage the country's recently discovered offshore oil, which could propel Ghana to greater prosperity or mire it in the political and economic diseases that afflict Nigeria and other petro-states. For now, however, the new president and his country can bask in the congratulations that have poured in from the European Union, the United Nations and the United States -- not to mention from Ghana's neighbors. "The conduct of the people of Ghana provides a rare example of democracy at work in Africa," said Kenya's prime minister, Raila Odinga. As Mr. Odinga knows all too well, it's an example from which Kenya, Zimbabwe and other states could learn.
Ghana's Example
How one African nation has made democracy work
Friday, January 9, 2009; Page A16
AFRICAN POLITICS were shaped in the past year by two disastrous presidential elections -- that of Kenya in December 2007, which ended in a fraud-marred impasse and triggered ethnic violence in which more than 1,000 people died; and Robert Mugabe's first-round defeat and second-round theft of a Zimbabwean poll, which has prompted a catastrophic national collapse. But democracy in Africa is not dead, as the small but influential nation of Ghana demonstrated over the past month. Its two-round election for president ended with a razor-thin margin of victory for the opposition candidate. There was no major fraud or violence: The winning candidate, John Atta Mills, promised to "be president for all"; his opponent, Nana Akufo-Addo, accepted defeat and publicly congratulated his opponent.
On being sworn in Wednesday, Mr. Atta Mills became the second opposition candidate to peacefully succeed an elected president since Ghana returned to democracy in 1992. A pioneer of Africa's independence movement in the 1960s, Ghana is the first country in sub-Saharan Africa to accomplish that political feat. For the rest of the continent -- including its giant and perpetually unstable neighbor, Nigeria -- Ghana offers a demonstration that such political maturity pays off. Ghana's average annual growth rate of 5.6 percent during the past six years has been one of Africa's highest, and the country has become a favorite of foreign investors as well as donors.
Mr. Atta Mills faces serious challenges, including growing transshipment of cocaine through Ghana to Europe -- and the corruption that the drug trafficking has engendered. He will also need to skillfully manage the country's recently discovered offshore oil, which could propel Ghana to greater prosperity or mire it in the political and economic diseases that afflict Nigeria and other petro-states. For now, however, the new president and his country can bask in the congratulations that have poured in from the European Union, the United Nations and the United States -- not to mention from Ghana's neighbors. "The conduct of the people of Ghana provides a rare example of democracy at work in Africa," said Kenya's prime minister, Raila Odinga. As Mr. Odinga knows all too well, it's an example from which Kenya, Zimbabwe and other states could learn.
Monday, December 8, 2008
chapter 53: r.i.p. stephane dion 2006 - 2008; or, how we learned that stephen harper was right
it turned out stephen harper was right about stephane dion. he's not capable of leading a government. pardon me for a moment, while i try to keep my lunch down.
but really, dion has shown time and time again he isn't capable of doing simple things required of a politician, particularly in his dealings with the media.
and today, perhaps recognizing his credibility as leader is shot, he stepped down. and for the centre-left movement in canada, which still comprises a majority of the country by the way, it comes not a moment too soon.
first, there was the infamous restart debacle. just as every prime minister has to be able to speak french, every prime minister must speak english too. but dion, as intelligent as he may be, clearly isn't up to that task. watch as he asks a reporter to restart an interview three times because he doesn't understand a pretty simple question:
then, when he was given a time to respond to stephen harper on the coalition government issue, he and his team delivered a poor quality taped message late. it was out of focus, it was poorly framed, and awkward to watch. this is what discomfort looks like:
dion has proven himself a good politician with good ideas in the past. but if his team can't be trusted with simple tasks, how can we trust him to do the right things for the country during a challenging time?
but really, dion has shown time and time again he isn't capable of doing simple things required of a politician, particularly in his dealings with the media.
and today, perhaps recognizing his credibility as leader is shot, he stepped down. and for the centre-left movement in canada, which still comprises a majority of the country by the way, it comes not a moment too soon.
first, there was the infamous restart debacle. just as every prime minister has to be able to speak french, every prime minister must speak english too. but dion, as intelligent as he may be, clearly isn't up to that task. watch as he asks a reporter to restart an interview three times because he doesn't understand a pretty simple question:
then, when he was given a time to respond to stephen harper on the coalition government issue, he and his team delivered a poor quality taped message late. it was out of focus, it was poorly framed, and awkward to watch. this is what discomfort looks like:
dion has proven himself a good politician with good ideas in the past. but if his team can't be trusted with simple tasks, how can we trust him to do the right things for the country during a challenging time?
Thursday, December 4, 2008
chapter 52: prorogue-ies and sour cream
a week ago, most of us had never even heard of the word prorogue, now it's on the tip of everybody's tongue. and for some, it tastes pretty sour.
governor general michaelle jean decided today to grant stephen harper's request to prorogue, or suspend, parliament until he can come back to present his budget on january 26. here is his press conference after that decision:
the somewhat surprising decision comes after a constitutional crisis that threatened to unseat the government less than two months after a federal election. for the past week, there's been a pr war going on to win public opinion, and to nobody's surprise, the conservatives appear to have won that battle with another round of fear-mongering.
to wit, a few fun facts:
1 - the proposed coalition government would have been only the second in canadian history. the conservatives said the coalition's plan was undemocratic. in reality, the parliamentary system allows for it. parliament can only operate when it has the confidence of a majority of members, who represent the public. the coalition would have the support of the majority, unlike the tories.
2 - the quebec separatist movement is, for all intents and purposes, dormant, before harper and the conservatives started invoking it as a boogeyman. the conservatives used the specter of the new government being beholden to separatists to stay afloat. in reality, the searatist movement has been losing steam since 1995, and now it's almost irrelevant. quebec's provincial election is widely expected to result in a solid majority for quebec liberals, led by jean charest, a federalist. if anything, harper's divisive rhetoric could spark a renaissance.
3 - harper called a snap election for october in late summer this year, saying parliament was unworkable. now, the new parliament has been shut down for two months until the new budget announcement. frankly, i don't think either side deserves to lead. but i also don't see parliament working any better when mp's go back on january 26th. at that point, we'll probably find ourselves in the situation we're in now, except we will have wasted two months of valuable time, while other countries work to make the coming recession as painless as possible.
4 - the is the first time prorogation has been used to prevent a government from falling, in canadian history. frankly, i wasn't thrilled with either option, but i do know that while the house is away, no stimulus package will be set in motion.
one thing is certain.
nobody can complain any longer about canadian politics being boring. but for all the auto industry workers in oshawa, and others across the country who are worried about making house payments, the prospect of losing their jobs while the politicians screw around is more disgusting than exciting.
governor general michaelle jean decided today to grant stephen harper's request to prorogue, or suspend, parliament until he can come back to present his budget on january 26. here is his press conference after that decision:
the somewhat surprising decision comes after a constitutional crisis that threatened to unseat the government less than two months after a federal election. for the past week, there's been a pr war going on to win public opinion, and to nobody's surprise, the conservatives appear to have won that battle with another round of fear-mongering.
to wit, a few fun facts:
1 - the proposed coalition government would have been only the second in canadian history. the conservatives said the coalition's plan was undemocratic. in reality, the parliamentary system allows for it. parliament can only operate when it has the confidence of a majority of members, who represent the public. the coalition would have the support of the majority, unlike the tories.
2 - the quebec separatist movement is, for all intents and purposes, dormant, before harper and the conservatives started invoking it as a boogeyman. the conservatives used the specter of the new government being beholden to separatists to stay afloat. in reality, the searatist movement has been losing steam since 1995, and now it's almost irrelevant. quebec's provincial election is widely expected to result in a solid majority for quebec liberals, led by jean charest, a federalist. if anything, harper's divisive rhetoric could spark a renaissance.
3 - harper called a snap election for october in late summer this year, saying parliament was unworkable. now, the new parliament has been shut down for two months until the new budget announcement. frankly, i don't think either side deserves to lead. but i also don't see parliament working any better when mp's go back on january 26th. at that point, we'll probably find ourselves in the situation we're in now, except we will have wasted two months of valuable time, while other countries work to make the coming recession as painless as possible.
4 - the is the first time prorogation has been used to prevent a government from falling, in canadian history. frankly, i wasn't thrilled with either option, but i do know that while the house is away, no stimulus package will be set in motion.
one thing is certain.
nobody can complain any longer about canadian politics being boring. but for all the auto industry workers in oshawa, and others across the country who are worried about making house payments, the prospect of losing their jobs while the politicians screw around is more disgusting than exciting.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
chapter 51: welcome back, america
the united states of america really is a baffling country.
they can bungle along for years, corrupt, greedy, cynical, aggressive and mean, until the country's downfall looks predictable and swift.
and then, out of nowhere, we see the qualities that have made the united states great. a country that specializes in bold, courageous moves that change the world.
tonight's election of barack obama felt like that. it felt like one of those moments people tell their children and grandchildren about. it felt magical, like a new era of compassion, hope, honesty and solidarity that unites people around the world. the great phoenix has regenerated and risen from the ashes again.
know what?
after tonight, i like those yanks much better.
welcome back, america. we missed you.
they can bungle along for years, corrupt, greedy, cynical, aggressive and mean, until the country's downfall looks predictable and swift.
and then, out of nowhere, we see the qualities that have made the united states great. a country that specializes in bold, courageous moves that change the world.
tonight's election of barack obama felt like that. it felt like one of those moments people tell their children and grandchildren about. it felt magical, like a new era of compassion, hope, honesty and solidarity that unites people around the world. the great phoenix has regenerated and risen from the ashes again.
know what?
after tonight, i like those yanks much better.
welcome back, america. we missed you.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
chapter 50: really america? really?
i can barely contain myself.
we knew sarah palin was no einstein, but this is ridiculous. she spoke to one of quebec's radio pranksters who are known as the "masked avengers" for six minutes, and never caught on that she wasn't actually talking to french president nicolas sarkozy.
this is the woman who the republicans want to be president if john mccain were to die in office.
simply stunning.
we knew sarah palin was no einstein, but this is ridiculous. she spoke to one of quebec's radio pranksters who are known as the "masked avengers" for six minutes, and never caught on that she wasn't actually talking to french president nicolas sarkozy.
this is the woman who the republicans want to be president if john mccain were to die in office.
simply stunning.
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