chapter 43: time to send harper to the principal's office

if i do it, i get sued.

if students do it, they get expelled.

if stephen harper does it, his cronies applaud.

yes, today it was revealed stephen harper plagiarized a speech given in march 2003, by then-australian prime minister john howard. and he didn't just copy some ideas, he copied it word for freaking word!

check it out:



i'm trying to remain neutral, but beyond the issue of personal integrity, i have issues with this. if stephen harper has to copy a speech from someone else, what does it say about his ability to come up with fresh ideas and creative solutions to the problems facing the country?

also, it's clear that harper not only supported the war in iraq, but he was taking his cues from foreign conservatives who were in lockstep with bush and the gang.

obviously, not participating in dubya's excellent adventure was the right call. so when the next iraq happens, and it will, is "steve" going to just go along?

chapter 42: time to panic!!!

is this it? is this how the 21st century version of rome falls?

the republicans defeated the us congress bailout bill today, and worldwide markets tanked in response.

it was a purely political response to a crisis of which, i'm convinced, americans don't fully understand the consequences. many of them didn't support the $700 billion rescue of wall street firms, whose greed arguably started all this.

i don't really blame them.

why should they bail out the hideously wealthy fat cats of wall street? in short, because regular americans - with mortgages, jobs and mutual funds - are about to feel the pain.

and the rest of us are too.

that's why it's clearer than ever that the republicans are driving the american empire into decline. they voted against a bill that could have helped slow down a global economic crisis that's threatening to destroy their financial system, ruin ordinary people, and sink the entire world into depression.

thanks guys.

and now they're doing what they usually do - dragging out the socialist boogeyman and suggesting the market should be left to its own devices. but that's what got us into this mess.

meanwhile, here's the message from the us treasury:

chapter 41: conservatives gone wild

during the 2006 campaign, the conservative party became known as a well-oiled machine on the way to ending the liberals reign of terror. but this time around, the pc's have been decidedly un-pc.

there was the puffin poop incident. (http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal/news/story.html?id=566e7b2d-7dc1-4ce9-99ed-bf7b06bd829e)

next, a tory staffer was canned for suggesting a father of a dead soldier who was critical of the conservatives had political motives. (http://www.canada.com/story.html?id=634dfca0-8c67-4a0f-9528-59ee0ffd64da)

then there was the "death by 1000 cold cuts" remark made by agriculture minister gerry ritz, that spawned outrage (http://www.canada.com/topics/news/features/decisioncanada/story.html?id=97e5ce8f-3afc-404d-bd7e-2f11f8761f06) and a satirical video game (www.deathby1000coldcuts.info)



finally, a toronto-area conservative candidate quit today because of remarks he made in his blog criticizing bus passengers who didn't try to stop the brutal beheading of tim mclean. here's the full text of what he said:

"So there was a bus stabbing on the Prairies. A man with a knife was able to go on a murderous rapage decapitating a fellow human being. The rest of the bus was unarmed and helpless. What was the generous Canadian thing to do? Help a fellow human being? No. Flee in terror. Passengers and the bus driver stood by and watched another person being butchered, and couldn't muster up any courage or self sacrifice to intervene. This is where socialism as gotten us folks, a castrated effeminate population.

This is a perfect example of why we need concealed-carry handgun legislation in this country, so we can defend one another and deter horrible events such as this. But what are our politicians talking about? More government regulation and security.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the friends and family of Tim McLean during their time of pain."

it's not like the liberals (http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/posted/archive/2008/09/11/liberal-candidate-a-no-show-to-explain-oka-remarks.aspx) and ndp haven't had their mis-steps, but we've come to expect that kind of disorganization and wackiness from those guys.

but the conservatives? not so much.

i wonder if they've been getting high with comrade jack?

chapter 40: personality please!

watching saturday night live's adorable and hilarious tina fey do a dead-on impersonation of the "lipstick on a pitbull" republican vp-candidate sarah palin made me realize a sad thing about canadian politics.

we have no personality.

we're vanilla.

there's no barack, there's no palin, there's not even a war hero or a guy with a big mouth who rides the train to parliament hill every day. maybe canadians like their politicians bland. maybe we're just not enthusiastic enough. one thing's for sure: stephen, stephane, jack, gilles and elizabeth are putting the electorate to sleep.

here then, in an attempt to generate interest, a few suggestions to liven things up:

1 - make the politicians ballroom dance together to see how well they'd work together. who would lead, harper or layton? bonus points go to the green party's elizabeth may, who for the first time, would be in a position to reject the big four, instead of the other way around.

2 - danny williams. newfoundland's premier has the gift of diarrhea mouth that delights reporters from coast to coast. he's been haranguing stephen harper non-stop, with his so-called "ABC" (anybody but conservative) campaign, and has been calling the pm "a fraud". after the conservatives' idiotic bird poop ad that had an animated puffin crapping on stephane dion, williams actually hired a guy in a bird suit to get a laugh at a speaking engagement. williams has taken on other heavy hitters and come out on the winning end before, and harper would do well to stay away from him. that's why i'd love to see danny front and centre at every harper event.

3 - geri hall. canada's answer to fey, the hilarious "this hour has 22 minutes" correspondent that has commented, among other things, on stephen harper's "rock-hard abs" and asked him if he likes handcuffs. she should be the one asking questions at the leaders debate. now that would be a debate worth watching.