chapter 35: french head(ache)

i hate toulouse.

i was only supposed to be there for one night. i'd planned to stop and see my friend natalie, who i hadn't seen since we met in oz seven years ago. i traveled the five hours by train on tuesday, reluctantly leaving behind the golden beaches of san sebastian, and a whole lot of t's, k's and x's which prevail in the language of spanish basque country.

the plan was to spend the evening waterskiing at a local lake with nat and her boyfriend mike, then knock back a few pints. but the evening was apparently born under a bad sign. almost from the time we got in mike's van, ambulances seemed to be stalking us, suddenly materializing from alleys, side streets, overpasses and underpasses. we were perplexed. later, it would make perfect sense.

i had a date with un medicin francais.

it started innocently enough. after waterskiing, i cracked the top of my head getting into mike's van. but i was fine. for a while.

abut twenty minutes later, i started to feel like i'd just gotten off the gravitron, the most vomitous ride at playland. as we exited the van to head for the pub, it came on strong, and suddenly i couldn't stand. another 15 minutes later, dizzy, headachy, glassy-eyed with one pupil disconcertingly larger than the other, i was in the belly of the beast itself, being tended to by french firemen, who apparently act as paramedics too. the ambulance prophesy had come true.

after that, there really isn't much more to tell. i was kept overnight and tended to by excellent medical personnel, then let go in the morning. in all, i ended up blowing an extra 120 euros on an extra night's hotel stay and a replacment plane ticket to paris, and i lost a day there while i recuperated. so i don't have a lot of positives to take home from toulouse.

but if there's one silver lining, i learned michael moore was right on the mark about french healthcare in "sicko". when i inquired about the bill, the gracious, smiling french nurse replied "monsieur, c'est gratuit."

so suck on that dubya...are you listening barack?