chapter 68: the Canada chronicles

I've done it. In just three weeks, I've redefined my existence (again). I've gleefully gotten rid of almost everything I own. I've irresponsibly left a good job. I've willfully disappointed some family, friends and colleagues. But in so doing, I've overthrown that fascist dictator we call “life”. And It's easier than you might think to spontaneously throw it all away. New slogan: Impatience – it's worth the wait.

Thursday, I threw my now-meagre possessions into my 1989 Volvo, my Swedish traveling companion, hereafter referred to as Silken. Silken is a boxy throwback with some mileage on her, but she's a chanp. And she's never been accused of cheating. First stop: Tofino.

This will be a truly epic journey. Canada is a hugely gifted, diverse, and of course, immense expanse of land. The distances are mind boggling. I've always thought of it as a travel buzzkill. Canadians have to go further than almost anyone else on the planet to reach exotic climes, especially Westerners.

But distance can be your friend. It's 2400 kilometres to Dawson City alone. That will be just a prelude of what's to come.

Silken and I will take our chances on bumpy logging roads through towering rainforests. We'll try to avoid gravel road showers under eerie constant daylight in the far north. We'll follow the ribbon of the Trans-Canada Highway on the backs of immigrant slaves, through wild mountains, and blood-red prairie sunsets We'll cruise gaudy, riotous cities in eight lane comfort. And we'll trace the rocky coastline that welcomed the first visitors to Canada.

I'm making playlists for the road as we speak.

chapter 66: that. was. awesome.

26.5 million people saw team canada take back our game, and a storybook ending to the games. that's 80% of the country. and it was the people, not the ioc or vanoc, who swept aside all the greed and hypocrisy an event like this can engender. and this is how they did it:

chapter 65: who are we?

the last week of unbridled patriotism has really left me wondering: who are we?

we are champions.

we can have our hearts broken.

we can proudly wear the maple leaf and not apologize. but everyone's invited all the same.

we aren't just happy to be here.

we expect the best of ourselves, and respect from others.

we aren't as quiet and unassuming as the world thought we were.

we are, in many ways, still finding our way.

what unifies us? it's always been hard to explain in words what it means to be canadian. but this week has shown the world that we are unique, and that's something to be proud of.

the world is learning something about us. so are we. we've always defined ourselves by what we are not.

we are not american.

we are not european.

we are not first nations, quebecois, chinese, indian, or any of the other dozens of cultures that make up the mosaic.

the truth is, we don't know exactly who we are yet.

and maybe that's how it should be, because we are always changing.

maybe it's that undefinable quality, that lack of an easy definition, that makes us special.

as the man said, we are more.

chapter 46: second verse, same as the first

after five weeks of being messaged to death, watching the parties squabble over bird poop and other meaningless tripe, the 2008 federal election gave us...pretty much the same dysfunctional parliament we had before.


yes, all this for the low-low price of 300 million dollars!


the third election in four years, totalling nearly a billion dollars. wouldn't that money have been better spent giving more money to our fat cat bankers, so they can keep the windfall for themselves like they always do?


despite being chosen by canadians as the best leader of a bad lot, a would-be warm and cuddly stephen harper still couldn't manage to convince canadians to give him the keys to the castle, though he did come pretty close.


that big sucking sound you heard? stephane dion's liberals doing the down stroke on their way to the party's worst showing ever. i'll say it again: worst. showing. ever.


about the only thing drowning out the liberal suckfest was the collective yawn that could be heard coast to cast, as only 59% of elegibile voters bothered to show up at the polls, a record low.


when asked to explain the landslide victory for apathy, disengaged voters said...oh, who am i kidding...who cares?